Each month we will be posting an interesting and informative article for you.   The subjects will change from month to month.

THIS MONTH WE ARE FOCUSING ON HELPING CHILREN COPE WITH THE DIVORCE OF THEIR PARENTS.

No Matter who initiates a divorce, it is a shock to the spouse and also the children involved.  Too often parents have fears about custody of the children and they don't see that their children are confused about the whole situation.  They are scared about losing their mom or dad or thier home.  Parents have to set aside their own feelings  and see that the children try to understand that no matter what, mom and dad love them and will always be there for them, they just can't live in the same house together.  All of this takes time.

THE FIRST STEPS.

The first few months are rough for the children as they missed their other parent.  The children even became angry, didn't do well in school and had other behavioral problems.  In older children, they blamed the other parent for spilling up their family and ruining their lives.  At times like these tseeinga therpist may help the children to understand whats going on.  When parents hide difficulties in the marriage from the children, it may make things worse as divorce may make it more difficult for them to understand.

PREPARING YOUR CHILD FOR DIVORCE.

Infants & Toddlers: They only need to know that mommy and daddy will be living in different places but will have contact with them.

PRESCHOOL CHILDREN need to be told simple, explanations for the separation so that they will understand whats going on.Assure the preschooler that both parents still love him/her and that mommy and daddy divorcing is not their fault.

SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN are more likely to understand some things about divorce.  But at the same time, they may have some fear that they are being abandoned by the other parent. Help your child to understand their feelings by talking about it, even if they are angry, afraid or sad.  Remember it takes time for the child to heal too.

OLDER SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN need to know more information about why everything is falling apart in their home.  They want to know the whys, who is divorcing who, and why don't mom and dad love each other anymore.  Instead of telling them every little detail, just give them the reasons for the divorce and who is responsible.  Don't be mean when talking about the other parent, .  Prepare yourself to deal with an an

angry teeenager.  They may be hurt, embarrased to have to explain to their friends about their parents splitting up or just trying to cope the best way they can.  One of the most important things you can do is listen to them.  Let the child express whats going on in their minds.  Divorce is not all about the parents.